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Tuesday, April 10, 2018

During the depression, I saw somebody throw a loaf of bread off a truck.
~ Don Draper


I poverty’s whore the government’s hand snaked down my thigh busted eyes layered in violent postures sucked my underlip my thumb first in the office where New Lady was being trained I spoke my need wept then she wept while offering me shampoo in a dish detergent bottle an unwrapped roll of toilet paper a soggy ham sandwich I told her it’s okay I’m crazy it’s okay in line for the urine soaked food bank forced to prove my meagre exposed my brain’s zippity doo dah aquanet Christian Children handed out samples of macaroni dressed in off-brand peanut butter at the door would you like the recipe it’s macaroni and off brand peanut butter three rotten potatoes a leaking rice bag discarded individual fruit pies then in the Social Security office How many how many years did you work? Have you ever gone by another name what about 1981 we have no record of you then.  I rocked the entire row of welded chairs panic needled my teeth gashed my wrist never never water splashed the backwhip the moment I opened the moment I stuck out my tongue ahhhh-ed to prove my dis my able my mental ill terror biled up as the woman behind bullet proof glass shrieked Prove it! Prove it! schoolyard taunt a sodden loaf heels busted open on the hawk torn down

4 comments:

bloof said...

I know you "hate writing" today but my animal gods only you can do these

Radish King said...

Oh Shanna, you invoked the Animal Gods and damn now I am really crying. So grateful to you brave Bee Girl.
Love
Rebecca

Ms. Moon said...

Sometimes it seems like the whole world is in cahoots to make some of us feel shame. You wrote that here like I have felt it before.
You know what? I do not think we were born with shame at all. I think it has been thrust upon us and beaten into us until it was tattooed upon our very bones.

Radish King said...

Thank you Mary. Thank you.
Rebecca