How a Resurrection Really Feels¹
(a song for girls in their 20s)²

Tundra to the north and west

freshwater sea to the east

the big/second city below

And of all the bad seeds

who never found a way

out of town

the one we loved the best

had been stranded at that party

for years

The Upper Midwest

dulls the nerves

with the dull hums of devotion

glacier-scooped and wooded

and too knowable

for a big fish

with a systems-analysis

kind of mind

The free drinks

keep you

at the corner bar

the easy hookups

keep you in town

The Upper Midwest

soaked

in the stale blood of Catholics

which smells like

the stale beer

of all the college bars you went to

in high school

’cause your friend worked there

and gave you the IDs

people left behind

How many girls were Jill Van Groll?

I was, and Jenny, and Emily, and whoever

was blonde mutt enough

to pass

There is nothing to do but drink

but there are lots of kinds of drinking

there is nothing to do but drugs

but there are plenty of drugs

And of all those guys

those guys with the baggy jeans

and black t-shirts

with the wallet chains

and buzz cuts

of all those guys I couldn’t tell you

for sure

who’s dead and who’s alive

walk on back

walk on back

Dragged to Sunday Mass

I took the chalice from my mother

Eucharistic Minister

grinned and winked as I sipped

before heading back to the pew

       “Becca has a taste for wine”

There is nothing to do but sip

but some drinks are classier

than others

some drinks are Catholicker

than others

he’s been disappeared for years

And when they let him out of prison

this Christmas

and he drove around town

in John’s old truck

we missed them all so bad

all those boys

and his grin was the grin of a kid

or of ass-flat defeat

or of someone who’d felt

the divine softening of blows

We weren’t allowed

to sit and smoke in bars once

And we’re not allowed

to sit and smoke in bars now

But there was a time

            we sat in bar after bar

using one cigarette to light the next

And those were our twenties

The friends he met in the bathroom

the bullet that grazed him

the lakeview condo he rented

in the complex

where all the ballers lived

the topless bar that paid

her tuition

the suitcases full of packages

Hustlers in the land

of no opportunity

If you can’t make it here

you could take it as a sign

it’s time to get out

walk on back

walk on back

Maybe

there is no such thing

as the third coast

After all

the lake freezes over

and

they swing the incensers over the ice

and

there’s a lot to confess

because there are so few ways

to be good

so we got ourselves all gone again

a bar and a steeple

on every corner

the bells ring out

and the changeover

takes no time at all

1.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFiiq2sFD7E

2.  http://songsforgirls.blogspot.com